Persuasive Essay Internet Piracy

On March 08 2013 05:19 ziggurat wrote:
I think you have the basis for a good essay here. You need to tighten up your grammar and correct a bunch of vocabulary mistakes. And you need to reorganize your ideas a bit. It sounds to me like you haven't quite figured out what you're trying to say. One guy suggested an outline, so let me draft one up for you:

(1) People use the internet now more than ever before
(2) With the rise of the internet has come a dramatic increase in copyright violations
(3) Companies that produce intellectual property say that they are losing a lot of money due to (2)
(4) Yet these companies are still making huge profits
(5) Governments have taken very extreme steps in passing laws and prosecuting people who violate copyright
(6) How this is all going to shake out will be determined in the next decade

That's an outline of what you're written so far. But you finish off with what I've labeled (6) which is a pretty wishy-washy point. Why don't you modify your outline to make a more meaningful argument? Like this:

(1) People use the internet now more than ever before
(2) The internet is a wonderful tool for communication that has significantly improved our quality of life
(3) With the rise of the internet has come a dramatic increase in copyright violations
(4) Companies that produce intellectual property say that they are losing a lot of money due to (2)
(5) However, many of these companies have been able to develop new revenue streams using the internet as a platform (give examples)
(6) As a result, these companies are still making huge profits
(7) These companies continue to fight to preserve old revenue streams that are increasingly losing viability in the internet era
(8) Governments have taken very extreme steps in passing laws and prosecuting people who violate copyright
(9) There is a significant human cost to these laws and prosecutions (eg suicide)
(10) The power to communicate and the freedom to share information is what makes the internet so great
(11) These companies and government policies are in effect trying to turn back the clock on the greatest invention of our time
(12) This fight is still raging today
(13) These companies should accept that the world has changed and that their new revenue streams have replaced the old ones
(14) If the companies won't accept it, governments at least should stop prosecuting and criminalizing ordinary activities

I'm not sure if that's exactly what you're trying to say, but it's an illustration of how you might flesh out your ideas a bit. Once you have an outline like this it's fairly easy to add another concept that you think will fit in well. And it's also easy to change around the order of your points to put them in a more logical order. For example, you might say it would make more sense to put (7), (8), and (9) immediately after (4). It's a lot easier to change around the order of your ideas in an outline than it is once you're written everything out in paragraph form.

Best of all, once you have a good outline, the essay will practically write itself. I've found that when I'm writing something the hard part is figuring out what I want to say. Once you have a clear idea of what you want to say, the actual writing becomes a piece of cake.


wow I see your point. The outline kind of just allows a natural flow of the essay. I know this is a miniscule detail, but since you have 14 points, does that mean you are going to have like 10+ seperate paragraphs?

Also unfortunately I don't have as much freetime as I thought I would so I won't be able to edit my essay right now
  • Piracy is Stealing

    Stealing music from a musician is no better than walking into Macy's and shoplifting a sweater. It's stealing the property of an individual who worked hard to make it and design it. The government needs to make search engines accountable for linking to illegal file sharing websites like Morpheus, Groxter, Limewire, and Kazaa immediately.

  • Piracy Is Unethical and Illegal for Good Reasons.

    Tell me this, do you pay for a painting, or a photograph from the artist, Why is it any different when it comes to music? It's still an art, it's something somebody has created and spent a lot of hours working on. So when you make a copy of an album, that's equivalent to making a copy of somebody's photograph or painting. It's one less sale for that artist. And one doesn't seem like a lot, but imagine 20,000 people making a copy for their friends, or posting it online, that leaves countless amount of copies being made, which is countless amounts of sales not being made. The artist is then out of money. Which is why they need to charge so much, because they must charge the people who actually buy music more so that they can make a profit and a living. Although the definition says its copying, it is stealing, you are stealing an artists hard work and effort. You're stealing their money and their creation. So, no, piracy should NOT be legal.

  • Buying/Selling software and games are the basis and foundations of the modern internet

    For centuries hard work and effort to produce a product have been rewarded,Have you ever been to school?,when you do good, or put effort time and money into something you would like some kind of reward,am i right?.Whats the point of spending millions of dollars and years of work onto a game like COD Black Ops 2 which hundreds of thousands of people enjoy and pay good money for just to have it stolen,e g PIRATED,whats the point of effort and money if theres no reward?

  • Piracy is good

    What about people who can't afford music or to see the new movies. Plus who cares it is not like they are doing any harm to anyone its not like they murdered someone. All they are doing is posting movies on the internet so people who can't afford it can see it and relax and don't have to worry how they are are going to pay the rest of there bills because they spent some of the money at the movies.

  • Why is wrong with you people.

    Of course piracy is stealing, you're taking a digital version of a profit away from the maker/developer/writer. Just because they still have a copy doesn't mean they aren't loosing something. If you've ever made a joke, and then saw someone use that without crediting you then you should know want I'm talking about. Piracy is like that except on a much larger scale, and it effects the income of the creator.

  • Piracy is a crime.

    Piracy is the unauthorized use or reproduction of someone else's work. It could be as simple as someone illegally downloading music online or movies. To as crazy as getting important documents hacked into and printed off and taken as others work. Piracy is stealing whether people want to think so or not. You would be taking something without permission that has value to someone else. No matter how much the value of the work is,
    Piracy is a serious thing, even if you don't think so. The people that have a higher say or opinion than you is what matters most because they are the ones in control. You can get up to five years in prison. So before taking someone else's work, music, movies, or documents. Think is it worth it? Because it's not.
    When people steal (piracy) music by getting it online somehow, They are stealing from that artist because that artist spends there time and money on studio time to put into their albums.
    Yeah music artists are paid a lot but they don't make what they don't earn they make there money from their albums photoshoots. So its not like they are getting “overpaid” just for their music they get paid for doing a lot of other things. They earn what they make.
    People should stop acting like $1.00 is to much for one song on Itunes or wherever they sell the online music. Its a lot cheaper than getting caught illegally downloading the music or movies. Its one dollar people. If you were to get caught it'd be up to a $250,000 fine. Id rather spend the dollar than have to spend on that.

  • Even it is online, or offline. WHATEVER IT'S ILLEGAL

    Let me have an example. If you steal something in market, then probably everybody will see you are stealing, even if you steal something in internet market, you are stealing but nobody can watches you. Humans didn't made internet with science in defiance of faith. Piracy never can be legal because it is stealing and stealing is illegal.

  • Even it is online, or offline. WHATEVER IT'S ILLEGAL

    Let me have an example. If you steal something in market, then probably everybody will see you are stealing, even if you steal something in internet market, you are stealing but nobody can watches you. Humans didn't made internet with science in defiance of faith. Piracy never can be legal because it is stealing and stealing is illegal.

  • Even it is online, or offline. WHATEVER IT'S ILLEGAL

    Let me have an example. If you steal something in market, then probably everybody will see you are stealing, even if you steal something in internet market, you are stealing but nobody can watches you. Humans didn't made internet with science in defiance of faith. Piracy never can be legal because it is stealing and stealing is illegal.

  • Even it is online, or offline. WHATEVER IT'S ILLEGAL

    Let me have an example. If you steal something in market, then probably everybody will see you are stealing, even if you steal something in internet market, you are stealing but nobody can watches you. Humans didn't made internet with science in defiance of faith. Piracy never can be legal because it is stealing and stealing is illegal.

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